i feel lost and hurt. 
i am crying one minute then in the next hour, i am crying again.

i am still on that emotional roller coaster.

i am scared.
i am afraid.

i have been thinking horrible thoughts about myself.
i have been thinking of suicide again.

i know i am better than this.

why must all this stuff happen to me?

i need a friend to stay with me. 
i can’t be alone in my apartment.

i can’t stop crying.

i can’t be strong anymore.

i am confused.

i am upset.

i feel like i don’t know who i am anymore.

I remember when you said ‘we can still be friends’ and all I could think was ‘no we can’t. I still want you and talking to you will just make it worse. Knowing that I can’t kiss you when we just look at each other or not being able to hold you when I’m not okay. Seeing you fall for some girl and watch you get over me is something I can’t do. Being friends is out of the question.’ But in all reality all I could say was ‘okay.’ & walk away.

gone again -______-

You are gone again and now i am left with a feeling of emptiness.

You are gone again and i am left holding my breath.

You are gone again so my bed becomes too spacious.

You are gone again so I have no reason to rush home.

You are gone again, I lay here crying.

You are gone again, I hope and wait.

Forgetting ____________

. 

I know that you will hurt me, and I keep loving you regardless.

I wish I wasn’t always wrong. I wish it wasn’t always my fault. The finger that you’re pointing has knocked my on my knees. When the party is over, How will I get home? I’m sorry. It’s not like me. It’s maturity that I’m lacking so don’t, don’t let me go. Just let me know that growing up goes slow.

 I wonder if the right person will read this. It would be nice if they did. But they probably won’t…

You know when you are trying to move on and forget about someone… but somehow their name appears everywhere. They are new timekeeper… they wrote a document that you happen to be reading for your new job. In fact, all the documents that you had to read today were all written by that same person. What gives? 

Now that i have left, i wonder the next time our paths will cross. Maybe never - but know that i am sorry things got so crazy. And i wish you well.   

RIGHT NOW , ALL I NEED IS A GUY BEST FRIENDS

• Who will listen to my problems even if it get really annoying

• Who will always be there for me no matter what

• Who can make me smile even if I’m having the worst day ever

• Who will always comfort me

• Who will protect me from those guys who isn’t worth it

• Who will never make me cry

• And finally, someone who will never leave me because I am so tired of people leaving without saying anything as if it is not going to affect me.

I miss having a guy best friend. ♥

QOUTES ~

“If you are, you breathe. If you breathe, you talk. If you talk, you ask. If you ask, you think. If you think, you search. If you search, you experience. If you experience, you learn. If you learn, you grow. If you grow, you wish. If you wish, you find. And if you find, you doubt. If you doubt, you question. If you question, you understand and if you understand, you know. If you know, you want to know more. If you want to know more, you are alive.”